Although grieving is not a ‘job’, I’m reminded today of what my mother used to say about parenting. She would often remark that the hardest job you’ll ever have is to raise a child – and they don’t come with a manual. I’m reminded of this because, in the midst of my grief, I feel helpless. And in a lot of ways it’s similar to becoming a parent.
It has been a horrible week. Strangely normal, eerily ‘back-to-the-grind’ but overall horrible. Yesterday marked 4 weeks since my mum passed. It marked 4 weeks and 3 days since I last spoke to her. It marked a whole heap of new levels of missing someone. It also marked the first true realisation that I was never going to be able to pick up the phone and ask her for advice. Then I heard someone talking to their mum on the phone. It was meaningless, it was simple, it was brief, but it was enough.
I write this with a heavy heart as I begin to process the loss of my mother. My blog posts to date have largely been about my battle with my skin, which, to be completely honest, always felt like it paled in comparison to what my mum was going through. But she was the first one to tell me that wasn’t true. That each challenge in your life is an experience to get through, no matter how small. And that each challenge has it’s silver lining.
What a great way to try kinesiology I have for you! If you are having trouble sleeping (any trouble at all), for the next few months, you can be a part of a sleep study and have 3 consultations for only $100. The study is to document and measure the impact of 3 kinesiology sessions on the quality and quantity of sleep in individuals of any age. The fee is payable after your first consultation which will go for 90 minutes. Then you’ll get another 2, 60 minute sessions to work through your sleeping issues. What a fabulous way to find out if kinesiology is for you!
It has been 233 days since I stopped (mostly unknowingly) taking topical steroids for my eczema. It’s been 232 days since I stopped moisturising. And it’s been about 110 days since I’ve considered myself ‘done’ of this withdrawal process. It’s hard to put a marker on it as sure, when I eat milk chocolate, I find a tiny patch of eczema the next day. Does that mean I’m done? I think so.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted and that’s mainly because I’ve had less focus on my skin! Dare I say that I might actually be over this beast???
The ‘skin drink’ my naturopath told me to take has been nothing short of amazing. I notice within a few days if I’ve stopped taking it and it has single handedly been the most important component of my healing. Of course, my saviour – the bioptron lamp – is definitely a winner, but to an extent, that was just healing the symptoms. The ‘skin drink’ is healing from the inside.
Things are still going great on day 116! I can now tolerate more in my diet, not nearly as sensitive right now. I can have some dried fruit, fresh fruit, a little sugar (I don’t eat refined sugar anyway), most nuts and I can rotate my gluten by eating it every 7 days. I’ve also reduced my supplements right down to only a few. Fantastic progress if I do say so myself! Except of course, I went a little far on the gluten front.
I’m so happy! I’ve all but forgotten about my skin. Though there’s still a bit of evidence of TSW lingering, it doesn’t bother me and I’m getting on with living.
It’s lovely to have a different focus. I’m sleeping well, still shedding a little, but again it’s not getting me down or warranting more than a brief thought. It’s wonderful, it’s amazing and I’m truly just happy.
I’ve had relief this past week – at last! The skin on my face is clear, smooth and only the tiniest bit dry (nothing that a refill of flaxseed oil couldn’t fix) and my neck has NO OOZING, is comfortable and I’ve even started wearing earrings, necklaces and scarves again! Yay!
It has been a huge 2 weeks. And very little of it has to do with eczema. I even confessed to my husband that this last week has been probably the most challenging I’ve ever had. Since mum got out of hospital, I’ve been caring for her and dad full time (though my sister helped last week which was a tremendous help). Team that with working, caring for a toddler while working (my in-laws who normally care for him while I’m at work are holidaying overseas), running a household, studying and oh yeah… I have that battle with TSW so I’m doing all of that on sometimes very little sleep.